I promised
by asveff
Summary: Christian is a war pilot, before leaving on a mission he promised his girlfriend he'll come back, however, his plane is attacked and he's given up for dead.
1. Chapter 1

I wrote this fan fiction in Spanish as a one-shot, soon I'll continue it. I want to know if I should translate it along with the Spanish version, if I get enough reviews I'll do it at the same time, otherwise I'll keep it as one-shot because it's really time consuming.

English is not my native language so if you find something weird or wrong let me know to fix it please.

ENJOY

 **The characters belong to E. L. James**

* * *

They say when you're about to die a movie of your life passes in front of your eyes, I can say it's true. While I fall I see my mother. My father carries me in his arm, I'm leaving from the foster home. At home is my brother waiting for me with a smile. Baby Mia is the most perfect thing I've ever seen. The school. The first time I fly and then piloting a helicopter. When I join the Air Force. Suddenly the image changes and there she is in that third rated bar I went with my brother, I see her blue eyes shining, our first kiss, the first time we made love in my little apartment, the promise I made her of coming back and getting marry… Forgive me Ana, I won't be able to keep my promise, be happy for both of us. I feel the ocean hitting my body and I lose consciousness.

* * *

"Ana, honey, wake up."

"What's wrong mom?" It's still dark outside.

"Sweetheart, is Carrick on the phone", her tone alarms me. I sit on the bed and take the phone with shaking hands, I'm not prepare for this.

"Carrick?" I say with faltering voice.

"Ana..., is Christian, he's missing, his plane was attacked, his parachute didn't open, we have to be prepared for the worse." The phone falls to the floor, I know mom is talking to me but I can't process the words, dad gets in the room and hugs me.

This might be a nightmare, Christian can't be dead, he promised he'll come back, he has to be alive. He promised.

* * *

My body aches, my cheek is against the sand, the sun lights up the day and dries my clothes, I feel my skin red and burns, the waves clash with my feet, _help me please_ , I say in my mind, but I can't find the words, my eyes close again.

* * *

It has been two months since Christian went missing, I refuse to believe he's dead and I refuse to go to a service in his memory. He is alive! Why nobody else do something? I feel it's just me against the world, I won't accept losing him, we have to find him, he has to be alive, he promised.

* * *

I've went over all this damn island from end to end and I've haven't find another human being. I just know I've been here for 68 days, without counting the days I might have been unconscious. I found a little refugee between some rocks and I've been feeding myself with coconuts, I managed to store some rain water. With my clothes I made a net and have caught some fishes. I had a knife in a pocket of my clothes and I didn't lose my wallet. Lucky me, having a knife, it would have been so much better if the fucking parachute would opened, at least I can use it to cover myself at nights. I need to get out of here, my family is waiting, Ana is waiting, if someone knows I'm still alive is she, our hearts beat to the same rhythm.

* * *

"Ana, say yes to me, I don't promise I'll replace him, but you have to continue with your life, I know I can make you happy."

"No, Jose, you don't understand, he is alive, I know he is alive."

"We all want to believe that Ana, but it's been a year, why do you keep holding on to the idea? I can make you happy, make you forget him."

"It's not an idea, he is alive", I say killing him with my glare. "Now leave please, my answer is not, Jose."

* * *

 _I've been here 396 days_ , I think while I draw another line in the rock with my knife, that's the amount of days I've been here alone with my memories. I'm tanned because of the sun and my uniform has lost its colors, I have tried to make fire but I haven't made it, I'm sick of raw fish and the flavor of the coconut, my hair is longer, it's at shoulders length, I'm thinner but not undernourished, every day I work out and talk to myself, that's the most important thing, to not get mad because of the loneliness. In one opportunity I heard a helicopter far away, they didn't see my sign of help, though sometimes I think it was just my imagination. A couple of ships have passed by the skyline. _I have to get out of here, I have to get home._

I wonder if Ana gave up and thinks I'm dead by now. _No, please, wait for me a little bit longer_ , I look at her picture that I had in my wallet. _I won't break my promise_.

* * *

"Honey, go out and have fun, meet other guys. Who knows you might find love again?", are my father's words on the phone.

"No, I don't want to, besides I have to study. Next week are my PhD finals. It's my last year dad."

"Annie, we are just worried about you, it has been two years, you have to recover your life."

The same story all over again, I receive this talk from everybody, they don't understand you can't just stop loving someone, besides I'm still hoping he'll come back. I dream about him every night, with his face, with his gray eyes. With the promise of coming back and getting marry. Sometimes I even hear his voice saying my name.

* * *

I've been in this fucking island for 1091 days, I haven't hear the helicopter in about 200 days, but I still have hope it will come back. I still have hope I'll go back home and I want to believe at home they still have hope too.

There it is again, the helicopter sound, I know I'm not crazy, I see the leaves of the palm trees moving with the wind of it, I've never heard it so close. I collected little stones and cut palm tree leaves to write the words SOS.

I run to the beach where the letters are written and the sound is louder and strong, I see it. I move my arms, jump, scream and finally they see me, they see me…, they light me up with a strong flashlight and I fall to my knees and cry. I'm gonna keep my promise, my love.

* * *

Every Friday I go to a small restaurant in Portland to eat alone, Christian took me there once and it became a tradition for us. Sometimes Jose or Kate surprise me by joining me for dinner, everybody knows where I am every Friday night.

I always order the same, Mac and Cheese, his favorite dish, and for dessert chocolate cake.

I'm reading while I wait for my order, the bell rings at the door indicating someone got in, I don't look up.

I hear steps getting closer and suddenly someone leaves a small box over the table, it is an engagement ring, without looking up I speak.

"Jose, I haven't accepted to become your girlfriend, even less I'm going to accept to marry you."

"Jose did what?" That's not Jose's voice, that voice is from...

"Christian?" I say with a weak voice, my mind is playing really bad tricks at me, slowly I look up. He's here, my love is here…, tears start rolling down my face. "It's really you?" I say with incredulity and throw myself to his arms.

"I'm here love, I'm here, I had to come back, I promised."


	2. Blind Date

Thank you so much for the reviews and follows, I never thought you would like the idea so much. So here it comes another chapter. I want to point out that this story will be different, it won't be written with a chronological order, it will be as if every chapter is a one-shot. I think it will be an interesting adventure for you to read and for me to write. Please leave me your reviews and comments.

 **Most of the characters belong to E. L. James.**

* * *

"Tell me one more time how did you meet this girl?" I ask my brother who's driving his car, we're going to a bar in Portland called 'The Red Fox'.

My brother has a date and for some reason I can't understand he got me one too. I appreciate the gesture anyway, it's been a long time since I haven't been with anyone, the problem is that this double date is a blind date for me.

"Instagram" is his answer.

"How do you meet someone on Instagram?"

"Really Christian, you need to get a life, not everything is airplanes or following orders."

"Answer my question, Elliot." I insist, he looks at the way with intensity. "Fuck you Elliot! You don't know her?"

"No, Christian, I'm going to just meet her today, we flirt for a while sending us messages and we agreed to meet."

"You're 31 years old, don't you think you are a little old for this?, tell me please you have seen at least a picture and that they're both over 21."

"Yes, Kate is 24 and her friend is in the age range."

"What's her name?", he looks at the way again with intensity.

"I can't believe I accepted to do this, you don't even know her name."

"I know it, I just can't remember it, don't be so bitter, let's have fun, soon you'll go back to D.C. and we have barely gone out together."

"This is not going out together Elliot is going out all mixed, a double blind date at our ages."

"Stop complaining, you might get lucky tonight", he says winking at me.

"Who says I need any?" I say with arrogance but kidding, the truth is I really need to get laid with someone soon.

"At least Kate is pretty?, to make myself an idea."

"Really hot, just as the doctor prescribed me."

"The geriatrician you mean?"

"Ha-ha-ha."

We are in downtown, the GPS says we are at a 100 meters. We arrive to a little bar, luckily we found a parking lot soon.

"Okay", he shows me a pictures of a blonde girl, she's pretty actually. "That's her, if you see someone alike tell me discreetly, first I want to see if she uses a lot of filters in her photos, she could be ugly outside of the internet." I roll my eyes.

We get into the bar, most of the people are in groups, the atmosphere is relaxed, there are laughter, glass sounds, music. Immediately I see the girl in the picture, it looks like she didn't lie, I nudge Elliot.

"4 o'clock", I point with my eyes.

"Oh wow, she didn't lie!, I'm going to say hi Christian."

"Wait", I take his arm, "she is alone, damn it, don't tell me I was left standing!"

"I don't know, let me go and ask her."

"Shit!, I'll be in the counter…" I say in a bad mood.

Without paying attention and thinking in my bad luck I walk to the bar, I look at my watch, it's 9:34, _I'll have a beer and leave, I'm not for this fu_ … suddenly I crash with something and the sound of broken glass surrounds the place. _Damn it_. I look down to see a girl in the floor looking at the spilled liquid.

"I'm sorry, I was distracted", I say apologizing, "let me help you."

I offer her my hand and she takes it to stand up, the effect is instantaneous, a current goes through my hand and keeps going over my body, _this is new…, it's feels a lot like the sensation when I fly a raptor but different, it's like a warm current. But what the fuck I'm thinking?_ I come back to reality, since she's already up I leave her hand.

"Are you ok, you didn't cut or something?" I say searching for blood somewhere, I don't look at her face and a worker approaches us to clean.

"I'm fine", she answers with a soft voice but steady, "I was distracted too, I'm sorry" she says looking at her clothes, she didn't cut but some beer end up in her white t-shirt leaving small yellow stains.

I look up to her face at the same time that she looks mine and I see the bluest eyes I've ever seen and there it is again the current that has nothing to do with flying faster that the speed of sound.

"Christian" I say offering my hand.

"Ana" she answers and gives me strong handshake.

"Let me return you the drinks, please."

"Don't worry, seriously, besides my friend's date is here, I think I'm gonna leave."

"Oh, but at least let me pay you back or something, I'm also leaving, I just came with my brother but he's busy now." _Why I'm explaining myself to her, I don't know?_

"Really, you don't have to, I'll just say goodbye to my friend." _What do I do?, it's been a while since I have done this, should I ask for her number or something?, no, what for, I'm leaving to D.C. soon, though being with someone these weeks wouldn't be a bad thing. No, it wouldn't be appropriate for now._

"It was nice knowing you Ana" I say with sorrow.

"You too", she says.

I follow her with my sight and feast my eyes on while she walks, not only her eyes are beautiful, her body is too, she has proportional curves to her slim body, she's wearing black jeans and a leather jacket of the same color, she is a little smaller than me. I'm all about giving pleasure to my eyes when I realize. _How stupid am I?_ Ana is reaching the table and leans to say something to who I suppose is Kate because she's seated with my brother, I see they talk fast and Ana turns to see me, our eyes meet again. Elliot winks at me, I do as I don't see him and approach to the table.

"So you are my date?" I say when I get there.

"It looks like…", she answers, we look at each other for a second or two. "This is Kate by the way", she says pointing to her friend.

"Hello Kate, Christian" I introduce myself, "Elliot's brother."

"Nice to meet you", she says smiling.

"I was distracted and spilled your drinks, what can I bring you?, I offer.

"Beer is fine" says Kate.

"Me too", says Elliot.

"Ana, what do you want?"

"Beer, I'll go with you" she says with resolution and we walk our steps back.

"You are not leaving" I ask with hope.

"Eh, I don't know, are you?"

"No, no…, I was only leaving because I thought I was left standing up", she giggles. "You?"

"Same", she says and laughs.

I hear the noise of a thunder and the image turns blurry, a stronger thunder ecos and I open my eyes.

"Ana", I say in a whisper. Darkness surrounds me, I want to yell, it was a dream, another memory. A loud thunder followed by a lighting illuminates for a few second my cave of rocks. I get up angry, rain is coming and I have to collect water.

"WHY!" I yell to the nothingness in the darkness. "WHY ME!"

I pick up a small rock and throw it far away.

"AAAAH!" I yell again, I hate feeling frustrated I have to be strong, she is waiting for me, I know.

Trying to calm my breath I carefully walk to the place where I have everything ready for nights like this one.

Among the palm trees there's a little meadow where I have coconuts shells prepared to save water. I check that they are firm enough in the supports of rocks and sand I've made. I can't give myself the luxury of losing water, while I've been here it has rained 3 times, enough to keep me hydrate from one rain to another.

I'm half way back to my cave when the rain starts, I hurry in the darkness and get into my refuge, I sit with my back leaning on the rock and look to the darkness. Another thunder followed by a lighting allow me to see the wall in front of me, I see three groups of five in the rock. 15 days. My breathing gets faster thinking about how many more I'll be here. I push those thoughts out of my mind.

"I'm not gonna die here alone, they will find me" I say to myself.


	3. Darkness

I'm sorry if it took me a while to update but some of you must know my time is being absorb by the translation of my other fic, I apologize, hopefully soon I'll be able to update more often. Thank you so much for all the reviews I hope you like this chapter. Thanks for reading.

 **Most of the characters belong to E. L. James**

* * *

Ana's sleeping next to me while I look at the ceiling, my head is resting on the pillow, I take it away, it's too soft. They're weird, certain habits I acquired after the island, for example missing having a rock to lay my head on or eating the fish almost raw, or stay staring at fire for several minutes as if it was some kind of magic. To enjoy fresh water and apologize a thousand times when I spill some in my clothes because I drink as a desperate man, and it's just that water can't be wasted.

The bedroom is dark and I feel unease, it's always the same when Ana falls asleep before I do, I feel alone and the anguish attacks me, it's like being back in that place, my mind rambles in the dark nights of loneliness where the moon and the sound of the ocean were my only companions and it's like if I can hear the fierce waves in nights of moonlight, I have a shiver, Ana moves a little next to me and I remember that I'm not alone anymore.

I turn to her and hug her trying to sleep. Not every night is like this, some are easier than others, it's been almost a year since I'm back and every day is a new adventure, I never thought that coming back will wake up so many sensations in me, I haven't been able to fly not even a helicopter and any strange noise scares me and if they're loud is worse, but the worst is to fear the darkness and loneliness, and now that I have more company than never I shouldn't feel like this, is like if I'm a scared child.

Ana has been very patient with me, she helps me with everything, I refused for a while to go to therapy, it's just that I'm not crazy, she didn't forced me to do anything but said they could help me to bear my new fears, soon I'll have my first session, I convinced myself of going when Ana gave me the news of our baby, my son doesn't have to have a father more afraid than him, I'm suppose to protect him. I have 7 months to work on it.

When the Greenpeace helicopter found me, they took me to the nearest embassy, they were researching in the area, and the residence they had was a ship nearby, that was my first stop. Then Madagascar, South Africa, Australia and finally the United States. I knew I was given up by dead, it didn't surprise me, I was waiting for it, what bothered me was that my family believed it too, I saw the photographs of my own funeral when I was taken to the military base in Washington D.C. and I asked to give the news by myself to my family. It really hurt me that they gave up so soon.

After a conversation with my family I asked about her, and I wasn't wrong, she was the only one that never gave up… Luckily the press respected my privacy after a few days when the news about my existence was given, flashes and feeling surrounded by so many people make me nervous and I was a relief when I stopped being the center of attention of the media.

I love Ana more than anything along with the little fruit of our love that's growing in her belly, the true is we weren't expecting it so soon but it has been an amazing news, it gives me the energy to continue, some days I don't understand why I'm still alive, I asked that to myself several times in the island. What kind of strange force kept me alive and why? I had to come back to Ana obviously, but I wonder if I have a deeper purpose, I must have survived for some reason, maybe I should try harder, flying was my passion and now I'm scared of taking the control.

I have so many things in my mind, I can't sleep so I get up carefully from the bed trying to not wake Ana up, I go to the kitchen. I take a glass and pour water in it, feeling the freshness always helps me when I'm in this limbo of the current reality and the past. I drink as if I'm a thirsty man in the desert and take a deep breath. I leave the glass in the dishwasher and go to the bathroom. I look at my face in the mirror, I look at myself with curiosity, I have recovered some weight, I'm not so thin and my skin is not so tanned.

To do something I start to read the product containers that are in the bathroom, I remember one day I smelt the scent of coconut of a cream Ana had and ended up throwing up just because of the memory, she doesn't buy things with that smell anymore, that's one of the things I have to get through. When I have read everything I turn off the light to turn it on again, turn off, turn on, turn off, turn on, turn off, turn on, turn off...

No, I don't want to be alone, my mind stays trapped in the darkness, no, get me out of here, I have to come back to Ana, why am I here in the darkness… I feel my heartbeats getting fast, my mind is disconnected from this time and space and there's a knock on the door, I come around, I turn on the light and see my face full of terror I don't know if it's a mirror or the reflection on the water, my breathing is agitated.

"Christian, are you okay?" asks my wife through the door.

I look at myself one more time, I'm incapable of finding the words, Ana opens the bathroom door and hugs me from behind. Feeling her warmness and the contact of our skins bring me back.

I turn around and see her worried expression.

"The light", I say, "it stayed off and I relived things…"

"I know, I heard you."

"I was talking?" I ask and she nods.

"You're not alone baby, I'm here with you, come to bed, you have to rest."

She takes me to bed taking my hand, like a lost child, she put me to bed and covers me, kisses me and then lays next to my side hugging me.

I'm embarrassed to say what I'm going to say but I don't have another choice, it's not the first time either.

"Can we leave the lamp on?" I ask whispering.

"Yes, my love", she answers. I stretch out my arm and turn on the lamp of my nightstand.

"Can you…", I hesitate, "can you wait for me to fall asleep?"

"Of course I can, sleep Christian."

"Thank you", I say. "I love you Ana."

"I love you too Christian, I'm here with you, sleep peacefully... ", and I obey, I dream with a little kid with blue eyes that smiles at me...


End file.
